So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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