I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
