i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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