Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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