Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
