the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
