I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
