I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
