you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
