Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize