I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
