speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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