These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
