That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The feeling are messing with the penis
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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