i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
