Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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