Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
