Nicole vs. Life
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the day after is always just damage control
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize