Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
