I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
