Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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