if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
