i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
