After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
