I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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