oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
