I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
