I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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