Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
