oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
