i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
