forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
