sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
