If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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