I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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