I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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