ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
