If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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