Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
