Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
