Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I want to be your penis for a week.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
