Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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