so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize