My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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