I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The beer is more important than you right now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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