D3 body, D1 cock
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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