is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
