Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
