That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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