Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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