we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
