Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
