i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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