Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
