Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
