They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
