Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
