She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
