Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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