stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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