Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
