dude i'm inner monologue high
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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