I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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