Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
