google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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