you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We have so much sex to catch up on
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
