can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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