1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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