I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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